People I’ve cared about my entire life do not seem to have returned that care or concern about me. You show me what my flesh does not want to know but what my soul needs to know.
Lord, why have my relationships all been one-sided with the exception of one?
You gave me one true friend on this earth yet separated us from one end of the ocean to the other. I understand this is Your will and I accept it. As painful to my heart and soul as it is, You know I accept it Lord. You also know my question before I can ask it. I’m very clear on that as You have revealed truth to me and allowed me to reveal it to my friend before time. When she heard Your words and judgement from my mouth she began seeking the truth. Your glory is now shown through her.
I’m beginning to understand how it is You desire to be praised and glorified. I always thought I knew but as You work through me, my chest of the flesh feels Your pressure. I can literally feel a physical response. It becomes tight, almost as if being squeezed and pulled. It takes my breath away and turns my coloring to a dim pale. It is a foreign, physical pain, unfamiliar. With one word and one tear You release Your grip and my heart is lifted. I feel You working and pulling away the concrete surrounding the entrance to my soul. In Your grace I wish always to remain.
I can feel my spirit now and it, who I really am, is fighting this flesh. There is a definite battle between the two parts of my being. Sometimes it feel as if my mind is now only a spectator.
You give me an image of how I look to You on the inside and the vision shakes me as if an inner earthquake is taking place and physically I can feel something shift and the pain in my chest goes away.
You show me yet another glimpse of how You see me from the inside and there is only a slight fracture revealing bright light. Unsure of what it is that I am seeing, You transfer to me, without a word, knowledge of who I really am. You say to me there is much work to do. That fracture revealing bright light, revealing you, is only the beginning. The power I feel now is only a fraction of the power within my soul. I know once you have broken down the barrier, when my soul, who I really am is freed from bondage, my souls power will consume this flesh. I will once again be pure spirit and power. Then is when and how I will be able to return to You.
Oh Lord! Do priests know this? Why have they not taught us this? Is this only Your knowledge? Oh Lord, I beg you on bended knee and a weary human heart, please show my friend what You have shown me. Please Lord, let the one person in this world that knows I speak the truth, see who she really is. Please Lord should it be Your will. You know my heart and You know I want my friend to remember what it is we have all been blindfolded from.
My ultimate dream now is to see the world enlightened because I know it is the praise and glory You desire from us.
I am but a grain amongst mountains and valleys of sand Lord but I know You hear me. You always hear me. I pray that part of Your plan includes all whom I have loved.
If my physical body could endure the shaking, chipping and pulling needed to remove the fortress of lies surrounding my soul that has been tarnished by this human life, I know You would break through it now. But only You know the true power that resides in us which is why You go slow. Revealing only bit by bit, so I may comprehend and prepare for my exit from this world.
My flesh is fighting to keep my soul trapped because it knows without the soul it will die.
With only a little of what you’ve shown me, my faith increases. Not in humanity but in the spiritual souls, beings that we all truly are. I have faith that once everyone knows the truth that they will all come back to You.
But You have shown me that my human ideas have nothing to do with spiritual reality.
I know that not all will come to You. Knowing now how much You love us makes me want to bring as many to You as I can. Because I know how much it pleases You and ever increases Your love for us. I want to please You. To make You happy. To glorify You the way You deserve and desire to be glorified. I will spend the remainder of my days on this earth fighting the good battle and bringing glory to Your name.
You show me that there are always battles before a war. To prepare and make ready only what it is that I will require.
You will not yet reveal to me what it is that is coming but You make it clear that it will be difficult. It will try my faith and where I will be placed is where You want me to work gathering Your sheep and feeding them Your Word.
Realizing that every choice, every person I’ve encountered, everything I’ve been permitted has all been stepping-stones. Each stone representing a lesson and more knowledge, preparing me for the next. For without each step I would not have been prepared for the next.
Even one step skipped would alter the true preparation needed to bring me to where I am today and where I will be tomorrow and in the future. You have been busy with me all these years that I thought I was in control.
As You know Lord, I’ve often wondered why I was being exposed to some of the things You’ve shown me and some of the places You’ve brought me. I’ve been happy and elated. I’ve been scared, shocked and traumatized but I trust You and I go where You say go.
I know You have been strengthening me for what is to come. I will never doubt You again Lord. This I feel with everything in me. But you tell me that I will and that breaks me down to tears and shame. You say do not worry because You will lead the way and my faith will still ever increase and I will grow stronger and Your glory will be shown through me.
You read my heart before even I can fully express it.
I feel shame as my heart longs to return to You and I secretly hope You come soon or that my soul breaks free now and I can ascend to You.
Shame is present as You reveal that these are things I should not wish for. The gift of walking in the flesh is precious. You remind me that those who live and believe in You will never die. Showing me that if I live in You and believe even when I die of the flesh, I will always live and walk in the flesh but a pure flesh without sin. I will be both spirit and flesh which is what You desire of us all when standing in front of You in Heaven and also in Heaven on earth which is Your will. Your Kingdom will be on earth as it is in Heaven. And it will be filled with spiritual beings walking physically in pure Heavenly flesh. Evil will no longer exist. There will be no threat. There will be no sin or will it ever be known again. All will live in Your glory, for Your glory and You will be in all. Even all species of life will live harmonious without the need to hunt. Lions will sit side by side with elk and mankind. Love will abound and reign in pure peace. Peace I cannot remember ever knowing.
But you tell me I have known it. That I’ve protected it from the beginning. Oh Lord, there is so much I do not know, yet I feel I’ve learned so much. It is all so overwhelming.
The words descend and ascend resonate with me without my knowledge as to why. Are You prompting me to think further? To ask questions my soul needs to hear from my human flesh? Do these questions help chip away even more?
The spiritual world has all different guidelines from the world I exist in. I know only with my soul freed am I to fully comprehend the answers You so want me to find.
You have all the answers, yet You push me to look for them. To want them so much that my mission to discover them becomes my reason for being. This is what You want of me.
There is nothing more I care to do other than sit with You. You push me to go out. To feel the chilled air on my skin. To feel the warmth of the sun comfort me from the chill.
You told me You would not speak with me always. That a time would come when I would no longer hear You but to know with all that I am that You are with me regardless of what the world says or does to me.
So I want every millisecond of this time to be perfect. To be forever. As long as I can hear You, really hear You , as I do now, please make it so I can sit with You as much as possible Lord.
Give me the inner strength to fight this flesh so I can bring You the glory You want.
There is another that I feel despair for Lord as You have put us in each others path. Neither of us know how we have come to know the other. There is no recollection. Yet we both know it is Your hand.
She suffers greatly Lord and You have mounded her suffering onto my own. It is as if we are connected. I can feel her pain, sorrow and desperation to hold on to You as there is no place else to go nor is there any one other than You who knows every intricate detail of her suffering. She has no comprehension of the glory she has shown You by caring for You while You are ill and on Your death-bed.
I say You because you have revealed to me that Your Words are true. “When I was sick, you cared for Me and nurtured Me.” When we have done this to even the least of our brethren we have done this to You.
You sent her the man who would love and protect her. You sent her husband the woman who would bless him through You with two beautiful children that would carry on his seed for generations to come. You have given them Your love and guidance and they have followed Your lead.
Should it be Your will Lord, bestow upon them the miracle I know You are capable of, should it be Your will. And let Your glory shine through them both. Let no man take credit for this miracle so that all will know Your power and Your glory will be known.
I ask this Lord by the power of my faith and most, which is most precious and Holy, I ask this miracle of You through the power of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Bring them Your glory Lord should this also be Your will.
If Your will is to have him home in heaven now and for all eternity, please send them the Helper. The Holy Spirit to break the blow and ease their grief and loss. Give them Your strength and knowledge as to why this must be.
Oh Lord, You are All Mighty, all Powerful and I petition You with all that I am to help this new friend in You, that You have placed into my life.
Show them Your glory Lord whatever Your will may be.
Thank You Father for listening to me. I know You always listen to me. Thank you for everything and everyone You have blessed me with in my life. Even the negatives which have brought me back full circle to You.
Blessed be Your Name