According to the Bible and the Jewish tradition that You were born into, the sabbath day is the seventh day of the week which in Jewish tradition is Saturday. The Muslims believe it to be Friday, while the Catholics, Christians and Protestants hold Sunday as the Holy day of worship and rest.
Lord how are we to know Your way, Your sabbath and not mans? Are any of them correct? Should we treat everyday as a day of worship and thanks just in case we are all wrong?
How is it that You have always been? The beginning in my human mind is the start of something. Help me to understand with the soul of my spirit so my human side can comprehend. You say that You are the Alfa and the Omega. The beginning and the end. When is Your end? By saying beginning, does that mean You are the start? If so how did You begin? When You say You are also the end are You saying there will come a time when there is literally nothing, not space and time and not even You?
These are the questions I’ve housed since I can remember. I’ve believed You and do not doubt You. I am the child You created. The one with the constant thinking and working mind. Daily working through all the nonsense of human life while holding tightly to Your cloak. The one seeking answers no human can give.
All answers reside with You. You even know the first question I will ask when we come together when it’s time. I smile with pleasure in Your grace.
Thousands gathering amongst the trees and in all sunny open spaces. Reveling in the glorious sun You blessed our beautiful planet with. It is Your brightest star hanging majestically above us reminding us daily of Your power and Your glory.
So many have no idea or concept of You.
Why do You remain hidden? I understand You have a plan and I’m curious and captivated to see it play out.
These have always been my thoughts as You know. In my personal space and world I want nothing more than to see You and be with You in this world so that everyone will know that You are real. That would be such sweet redemption.
Looking around at so many people while sitting alone pondering You and Your messages. I cannot help but wonder why You have made Yourself known to me and not everyone. I know I am no different from any of Your other creations. I breath, eat, sleep and have the same bodily functions as them all.
But there is something different. Very different in me than them. They see it, I know it but play my daily role in society as if everything and everyone are also in tune with You. But You know and I know that this is not true.
I’m not like them. I have never been.
Sometimes I ask you, “What do you want?” I ask with passion and desire as I feel almost weighted down with questions and confusion imposed on me by human life.
I ask not because I doubt You. I ask because I have not yet mastered the knowledge of my own existence.
You are showing me daily, bit by bit and my frustration grows. So ready in my mind for all answers now but You slow me down. Ever increasing my quest for all answers. Does anyone else feel Your pull as I do? Am I alone or am I going to join You with many others when it’s time?
I walk with You as though blindfolded yet in full trust of Your lead. I know You will not lead me to harm. As I know You will always protect me. I’ve been here on this planet, separated from You for fifty-one years and counting. Yes counting as I miss You. I trust that I will be here as long as You need me. I also know that I will be with You again and will never have to separate from You ever again. Then will You tell me everything I have always pondered.
Father many wait in the midst to condemn me for past transgressions and they will accuse me and try to snatch Your glory. The glory You have given me for loving You and remaining true. Give me the strength to deal with their ignorance of Your way. Give me the strength to hold my tongue when my human side tries to interfere in Your work. I must suffer for Your Name and I pray I am prepared. Hold me close sweet Father and never let me go. I will hold to You as my last breath does depend on You. When I am down to my last ten, may they be in Your presence. I love You Lord and the world thinks I’m insane. Hold me closer than You’ve ever held me. I will not survive without You.